Whether you’re ancestors were slaves whose family could be split up at any time at a master’s whim, or students at government boarding schools with an overt agenda of severing ties with your family, the very concept became devalued, as something that your elders survived without. Multiracials also often become dislodged from extended family due to the disapproval on one or both sides of their parents marrying across taboo boundaries.

In contrast, both Asians and Mexicans have cultures that emphasize family, with strong social sanctions against those who neglect familial ties. Both have an ancestral heritage of long periods of separation from family (Asians were not allowed to bring spouses to America during a large chunk of our history, and job-seeking immigrants from Latin America have often had to leave family behind) but in both cases the individuals in this country had strong obligations to send money home–their connection did not vanish with distance. This material duty underlined a safety net–if they fell on hardships, they could also count on family to bail them out. In the case of Blacks and Indians, though, an outside force discouraged or forbade outright continuing ties during periods of separation.

It could be that people sleep most deeply when they have the most confidence that somebody’s got their back.